The Choices We Make

Your family is divorced, one of your parents finds someone new. This gives you a new family, a new parent and step siblings. You offer your time to said family, and the majority give back to you. Some members of this new family feel indifferent, they feel that they do not need to contribute to this new family. They come and go when they please, choosing to spend time with the rest of you when they need anything or mainly want something, like when they want a new phone or know Christmas is coming. How does this make you feel, knowing that you are trying everyday to improve the lives of everyone around and make life positive? At the same time the people who just want, and want, and want are still there, they are still taking, taking, taking, and not giving anything back. What do you do, just bite your tongue and say nothing or blow up telling them how you feel? Well if you do blow up, what happens to the innocent people in your family? Each decision you make impacts the life of your family.

 Is it worth the risk of making your new family feel negative towards you if you speak your mind? The risk might just be worth taking because your family could start a new relationship, where everyone gives and takes. Making a balanced family, making you feel safe to take when you need it. If you do not make this risk. With the way it is right now though you feel guilty and ashamed to ask for anything. Asking for stuff makes you a taker right? Not necessarily, it is okay to ask for help when you need it. It is okay to ask for something when you need it. Asking for something one time does not make you one of the takers, it makes you human.

 What if you do not take the risk, what happens then? This means your family stays the same right? The takers take and you give all you have to your family. You give your time and your passion, while they take what they want. You give all that you have to your new family and you keep giving. What happens when  you run out of things to give? They took and they took until you had nothing left, you gave all you had and you tried to give more, but in the end they took everything that you had to give and gave nothing in return. You have been taken advantage of, you got nothing in return when you gave. You never expected anything in return, but it would have been nice to get something even as small as a thank you, that proves the takers in your family actually cared for you.

Now let us go back, you had the choice to either speak your opinion or stay silent. Your family changes no matter which path you choose to take. One way your family shatters more than it already has since the divorce, while the other destroys you. There is no good option in sight from the choices provided. What if you discovered a third path for you to take?

Well if you find that path, I would love to know the answer. This is the life that I live everyday. I give all that I have to my mother and stepfather, while my step siblings take and take. The last time I saw one of my step siblings was over a month ago at a family funeral. The time before that I cannot even recognize. I remember when one Thanksgiving my mom and step dad came to pick me up from my dads and by the time they got back to their Thanksgiving, my step sister was in her mom’s car and left, without a goodbye.

To me, I cannot fathom not seeing your parents for months on end when you have every opportunity to go see them. Not every family is perfect, but they, at the very least, deserve to know in some way that you truly do care for them.